November 06, 2006
Sex and the Single Sista: You Can't Handle the Truth!
My dearest readers and to my dearest sistas can I ask you this question?
"Are you ready for an honest man? Would you know what to do if he showed up at your door?".
From one sista to another and brotha's you can apply it too, it's a lot harder than it sounds. So, "Mr. Right" just showed up at my door. You would think a sista would know how to act. But I don't. I don't know what to do with this man. And sometimes, Mr. Right doesn't always look the way you imagined he would. What's a sista to do?
So how long have we known each other my dear peeps? You have tuned in and laughed and cried at my many dating disasters for about the past last 5 to 6 years. Some of you I know and then some of you I don't know, but through the stories and over the years we have bonded over the drama that is called life. But what happens when the drama gets cut out in an area of our life. You would think we would be grateful and shout at the top of our lungs in the street singing, "Free at last, Thank God almighty, I'm free at last!" After having my share of "Nightmare on Elm Street" dates, what happens when Prince Charming shows up? What can I do? My first impulse is to put my guard up and ask fate, "Is this a joke? Because if it is, I am too old and don't have time."
Let me tell you why I'm tripping. His name is Peter and he is 31 years old and has no children, never been married but was engaged a few years ago, has a good job, well educated from one of the best universities in the states. No children, No baby mama drama, my mama adores him; he's kind and loving. He always encourages me and supports me in my goals and dreams, celebrates me, let's me be as crazy as I want to be. He has no crimminal past, has a loving family ( I met his mama and family last August). He doesn't do drugs or smoke. He can't get enough of me, and always tells me how fine I am and how he is so lucky to have a woman like me in his life. He works hard to see me smile, makes me laugh till my stomach hurts. He has no other women, trust me a sista has kept her eye open for that one. His daddy raised him to act like a grown ass man. I'm not allowed to pay for dinner, lunch, breakfast, or trips out of town, and he doesn't have "issues." Did I forget anything? Oh! And he is about 6'3" to 6'4" tall and according to my big sister, Gladys, my toughest critic, he's very handsome.
So you would think I have reached the mountain top right? Well, on our first date a sister started to trip. Before you go off jut listen.
First, of all, I kid you not, we were set up on a blind date. We chatted on the phone for weeks prior to our meeting and agreed to meet for lunch. Now, remember, just a day before, I had just gone through that drama with Mr. Man. So, I figured that all men were sleezy and I would go out with this guy and get my eat on with a free meal and call it a day. But it didn't happen like that!
I knew from earlier that he was white. Yes, he is. But decided that reguardless he is a human being. I think for the first time with any man, I laugh so hard my stomach started to hurt. And I was happy just being in his company. There was no putting on any airs. I didn't think it would go anywhere so I let go and had fun. We talked about everything and anything. We discovered that we both went to private schools as children and grew up in middle class families. After we finished eating we decided to go sit by the water front in Alexandra, Virginia where we both found we have a passion for watching the sun set on water. My plan of spending one hour with him ended up turn into a 7 hour date that also included shoe shopping. So that's how our first date went. That was in late May. And from that day things have been the same accept I have met his family, and now he tells me every second he can get that he loves me. So why am I tripping? I have to admit the dating outside of my race thing got to me a little at first. But I got over that. But now it's how he treats me. He treats me as if I was this priceless, beautiful, smart Queen. I know I'm all of those things. But to be honest, I don't think I was ready for a man to treat me that way. I didn't think it was possible.
I had gotten so used to the unavailable, emotionally challenged men with bad drama in tow. Now here was God giving me not only what I needed but what I wanted. But remember, I did make that promise that I would not be bias to love. So yes, The Lord made sure I kept my word on that one. But it has been about 6 months and Pete has shown me nothing but love and support. And yes I know I deserve that.
I don't know what scares me the most, The fact that there is no drama and I got what I asked for or I'm getting real love from a real man. I think it all scares me. But I will say that I'm enjoying it. But I am scared.
BlogON: What about YOU? Would you "cross-over" and date outside your race? Is it true that there are no good Black men left/available for Black women? Is it only about race? If a Black couple have major class differences (working class vs. middle class), how much that play into the relationship? Can't we all get along? WHATCHUSAY?
Posted at November 6, 2006 01:09 PM