August 01, 2005
Revisiting a Classic: Games People Play
By Don K. Taylor
In the annals of social psychology, there was perhaps no greater incisive people observer than Eric Berne. He wrote the hugely popular book “Games People Play”. He pioneered the work which he called “Transactional Analysis” and broke away from the established psychiatric medical boards of his time to give him the intellectual freedom to develop and practice his work in game analysis. He lived and practiced in San Francisco in the ‘50’s and ‘60’s.
For me, personally, I was attracted to Sales as a career because it afforded a much better than average income (over 50% of your Fortune 500 CEO’s come from Sales). And, more importantly, it provided me the opportunity to work with people. For the average person, they think Sales people are affable, back-slapping, smiling people manipulators. For those of us who are professional sales people, we know better. I have a strong streak of the “loner” in my personality. Since I make my living working with people, however, I am constantly amused, befuddled, and sometimes terrified at the games people really do play!
There is one game some “religious” people love to play, which I call, “Let’s go to church”. In this game, if you are to be accepted into the group, you must go to church. If you don’t go to church, you are somehow viewed as an “outsider” with the attending emblem of a non-believer. Of course, this is pure nonsense! Whoever said going to church is going to get you into heaven? I don’t think God bases our salvation on church attendance records. It’s all, sadfully, very silly. The more I observe people, the deeper my “loner” need becomes. Of course, I’ve always gone my own way, and have had an insatiable need for personal freedom. A “nine-to-five” job was always a killer for me.
We all have a need for authenticity, but most people don’t have the courage to be “real”. Acceptance is the easier route. Of all human traits, I’ve always thought courage reigned supreme. Without it, we are weak, impotent, and our lives are empty. Courage gives you the strength to be yourself, and not care what the other people think. You won’t be the most popular kid on the block, but whoever said being popular makes you happy?
BlogOn: What games do you play to get in the world? Do you have to play them?
Posted at August 1, 2005 07:18 PM