whatchusay?! ::: Sex and the Single Sista

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WhatchuTHINK: mine your mind

FORWARDEVER MEDIA CENTER

Writer Alex Haley writing The Autobiography of Malcolm X with Brother Malcolm.

"The media's the most powerful entity on earth. They have the power to make the innocent guilty and to make the guilty innocent, and that's power. Because they control the minds of the masses."
- Malcolm X

Mission

The Forwardever Media Center is 100% committed to providing unconventional writing workshops and media literacy training to "at-risk" Black youth, particularly males, ages 14 through 24. Working in partnership with The Mentoring Center in Oakland, CA., the Center's writing workshops, website internship, and film forums, help students develop critical thinking skills and discover their creative talents. We recruit youth for our programs from the California Youth Authority (the state's largest prison for youth) as well as from universities and high schools. This cross-pollination of young minds creates dynamic shared experiences.

Programs

Whatchusay Cinema–A monthly film forum hosted at schools or community centers in Northern California that explores issues such as race, class, gender, and society. Students are joined by a panel of activists, educators, athletes, entrepreneurs, etc. to rate the films and convene roundtable discussions about corresponding relevant issues in society. For info about film screenings and schedules contact: cheo@whatchusay.com

Writing Workshops–We offer intensive seminars in journalism, creative writing, cultural criticism, new media, film production, etc. These seminars are taught at the center, located at 1224 Preservation Park, Oakland, CA, 94612. They are also available on location, at schools, community and detention centers, churches, etc. For info about class schedules contact: cheo@whatchusay.com

Internships–Whatchusay.com offers competitive internships to young writers who have clearly demonstrated a passion for the craft of writing or media production. The 3-month internship covers news writing and reporting, feature writing, creative writing, media literacy and new media. Working in partnership with community based organizations, universities and international and national media outlets, we produce a pipeline of informed journalists of color who will go on to create their own independent media organizations or work for major media organizations.

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Sex and the Single Sista

By Michelle

On a January Boston night, I sat with two friends and analyzed the concept of interracial dating. One was Angela, a black woman, and the other was a late twenty-something Asian male, who I will call "Mr. January." During our conversation, I admited that I had a slight crush on him, which as a black woman, may go against the expectation of society. This quickly became a hot topic of our conversation.

What made me mad with them was their view that a black woman (me) couldn't have an attraction for an Asian male. According to Mr. January as well as Angela, I seemed to have some type of fetish with Asian men. They thought I had no type of genuine attraction for him but that it was purely based on something else. And somehow I was more attracted to Asian men than my own race. I could believe something like that would come out of her mouth. But not him. But maybe it was a first for him: To have a black female who found him to be very intelligent and attractive.

To me, this was another case of a hit-and-run stereotype and putting a sista in a box. The lie is that some of us don't look outside of our race. And if we do it is because we have some hard up issues with our own men. If a man from another race does look at us, it is because he just wants some black tail or wants to see a brown nipple. Either way, black women going outside the race.... hell, even looking, is still is a taboo for many.

Why is this? I notice that no one seems to think twice about black men or women of other races being with each other. But when it comes down to black females, the idea of even looking at a male outside of her race is unheard of. Later, Mr. January confessed that the idea that I found him attractive was strange to him. I asked him why and he replied that it was something he never heard of -- a black woman having an attraction for an Asian male.

However, I did my best to explain to him, and I really was hoping that his lack of understanding was not because he was ignorant but more about the fact that he is from Taiwan. This is a person I have known for sometime. So, I am more inclined to have a little bit patience with him. I explained to him that I saw him as a man. I admired his rational view on things and the fact that he is a very respectful man. I had never heard him swear, yell, or even lose his temper. No matter what the case he always keeps his cool. Whenever we go out he always stimulates my mind. Whether teaching me a Chinese dialect or teaching me how to play pool, I always learn something and he encourages a sista' to grow. Throw in the mix that he is an M.I.T. graduate and you have a man among the "holy grail" of men. I haven't said anything about his looks. But I will tell you this, even my ghetto critical sister, commented on the fact that he was good looking.

So, why would not I or any woman not find him attractive? But I guess he is only human. And like the rest he is subjected to fall under the stereotypes that plague all races. But for whatever reason, the thought of black women considering dating men of other races seems to be a taboo. Some sista's think about it. But few like me are bold enough to admit it.

Mr. January and I are still friends and still speak. Four days ago he celebrated his 30th birthday. I very much admire our friendship. I can say is that he is one of the few male friends that I share an intimacy. No, I don't mean sex. But pure respect and appreciation.

Not because he's Asian and I'm Black, but because we are both human.

BlogON: What's your view on interracial dating? WhatchuThink?

Posted on August 24, 2005 5:27 AM